I spend a lot of time listening to the world go by, sometimes I pay attention to the noise, sometimes it fades into the background.
There is a woman singing down the street, it sounds like she is walking up and down the block from my bed, its about 2am in the morning, its one of those balmy nights in Woodstock, my windows are open and the sliding is only just slightly so. I cant make out what she is singing about, she keeps breaking into fits of giggles in between the singing, it sounds like an interesting night for her. I want to get up and go glance, maybe I will see her, I decide against it, Im nosy but not nosy enough to get out of bed. not tonight.
I sit by the balcony sometimes and I watch people walking up and down the street, watching people stomping up and down the pavement and I often wonder if they listen to their footsteps while walking, do they realise how much of their physical body aids their mobility and how being light stepped is almost a privilege.
Sometimes its sirens, whether its a fire siren or police siren, human beings are always in need of monitoring it seems, the other night I thought I heard a siren unitl I realised that the building across the street was on fire, the other day I was lying in bed & I heard a loud bang, sounded like a bomb, I thought it was my last day on earth, only to find that a car had driven through a wall. the police sirens were non stop that night.
When it rains I can hear the raindrops land on my wooden furniture outside, growing up we used to be able to smell the rain, lately seeing is believing and it rains in CT in winter, a miserable time but it tends to be very short but I know its temporary.
when I first moved in, I thought I wouldnt be able to sleep with the noise of the traffic all the time, I bought myself ear plugs and eye masks to keep the sun out, i could close the curtains and mute much of the noise but it would mean missing out on the sunrise , which throws my day off if I do, so I sleep with the curtains open.
I know there is a train station closeby as well, i hear the train running sometimes, I miss being on the train and watching the city go by, watching people interacting not to interact with each other
sometimes I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and hear people walking up and down the passage & ive always wondered what they were out doing, they never sound alone so the walking is a team exercise. mutual companionship, a lot of it is built while walking for a lot of people, getting to see what people are like when they are hurried or excited or late and the sound of whatever emotion they are going through at that moment.
The generators kick in when the electricity goes off, if I dont follow the schedule then I know when the generators sound, it means Im powerless for 2hrs of the day and I listen to the city again.
There is a tree across the street from my apartment, when I want to check how windy it is, I go and look how the leaves move then I know how windy it might be, I ask my brother once in a while to describe the outside, the people, the atmosphere.
I could say it feels like a prison sometimes, being disabled and knowing that there was a world before this where I could fit shoes and determine the mood I would be in depending on what was on my feet & living in a body that doesnt always like shoes, socks I could never have too many but shoes, I think I need a few more pairs, just because
i like saying i miss touching grass, I never thought I would ever get to a stage in my life where I miss touching grass but its the one time I feel like I am part of something bigger than myself and its the one place where my feet can feel every single blade
The sounds above my flat, sounds like a bed or a couch being dragged across the room, at least once a week. i know they hear me when Im dragging my bed across the room too, the joys of small shared spaces.
The call to prayer in the morning is one of my favourite sounds about this city, I hear it best in the morning while the city sleeps. On sundays I hear a lot of clapping from all day church services around my neighbourhood, another way to find community in this city.
Ive been told I have a loud laugh, I wonder if my neighbours can hear me when Im laughing in my bedroom sometimes, other times while with my brother outside and how that sound comes across to them
when the pandemic first started I lived across the street from a hospital and I would hear the people shouting from their windows and cheering health care workers on, when we were still afraid of covid, times have changed
i used to go to the gym and i would wear earphones to avoid the noise of the machines and the conversations, I miss that community, it felt like a space where all our different disabilities could be worked on without scrutiny, the noise was different there, I remember hearing a lot of water splashes from the exercise pool.
I couldnt tell you what my voice sounds like though, my singing voice to be more precise, its one part of me Im still trying to get familiar with and i hope the sound of my singing voice doesnt make me suffer from second hand embarrassment like I do with my speaking voice. I wonder what I sound like when Im in my lovers arms, I should ask them sometime.
My city sounds like a lot of things but it sounds like home every time I come from a visit out of town
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